I've been reflecting on last week's episode of The Pebble in My Shoe - 'Many Roads, One Destination. It seems the threads that track through our lives are there whether we actively choose to follow them or not, and they influence our lives whether we realise it or not.

For me, there are several threads or patterns I can identify and over the weekend I've been exploring them and having a look at what they offer me.

One is the thread of estrangement that exists in my family. It's been a long journey with it, with many twists in the road. Estrangement is always complex and painful. It is however a wonderful teacher and has taught me much over the years, for example, overcoming deep feelings of shame. It has given me tools to stand in my truth, even when the other parties hold a different truth for themselves.

We like to remain true to the programming that 'family life is founded in love' and that 'mother/child bonds are unbreakable' etc. It wasn't until I came to terms with the fact that this paradigm doesn't align with my experience, that I began to find peace with it. I was able to find ways to nurture myself that the relationships couldn't provide.

I know that family estrangement is really common. I know that there are all sorts of ways it manifests and I know that there is a version of grief that is really hard to quantify because nobody has died. However there has been the death of a relationship - sometimes many, and that is the loss that leads to suffering.

I have learned to be more open about it. When people ask about family members, I am much more able now to just say, "We don't have a relationship but thanks for asking about them". I find that preferrable than pretending, and it actually energises me rather than pull me down in a veil of denial or deceit.

I've also been following a thread of all the content I've created over the years. Launching Daisy Coaching and my quest to establish it as a hub for people to receive resources that support their wellbeing has caused me to take stock of the massive library of guided meditations, podcasts, worksheets and resources that I have produced.

I can now see that I was creating content all along, not knowing that it would be the backbone of my future endeavours!
It feels like I had been preparing all along for this moment, for this timeline I now find myself on.

So, I invite you to take some time for yourself to reflect on the threads and patterns in your life. What do they hold for you? What have you been gifted with learning? What foundations have you been laying for yourself all along?

Thanks for being with me on the journey.

Warm wishes
Miffy

picture - Sea Pinks on St John’s Point, Co Donegal by Miffy hoad

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